Happy Monday and I hope you all had a good weekend. Post number two and so far we are on schedule…that’s a good start right 2 for 2? As you can see from the title I am going to talk about something I touched on briefly in my last post but it was something that I felt needed to be discussed within in post itself.
So if you read my last post you will already know that time high school I found myself in a really close group of friends some of which I had known from pre-school so we had practically grown up together, went on holidays and talked about anything and everything…great and some new ones and all was great! Then came sixth form, it was during this time I found myself moving away from this group and perhaps recognising the issues and clashing with some of the personalities within the group. Normally I would say I was a sociable person but this very awkward and uncomfortable divide developed and sides began to form
Having chosen to take slightly different subjects to my friends I become good friends with another group of girls which were completely different, running in different circles and to be honest the girls who I had been friends with for a long time became… not cruel, but it was just the occasional comment. I think it was here where I really began to struggle because I dont think I had ever felt so alone, I mean I had friends and nothing happened during my time at school but it was more the loss of the friends that had been together through everything that left me feeling isolated. This divide is something that is still there today every time we all return home it is never to meet as a group but clusters within the group and whilst I tell my parents that it doesn’t matter, deep down it really does.
This split got worse with us all heading off to different universities but at the same time it has enabled me to have a whole new set of friends and relationships away from the disintegration happening back home. When I first left for uni I made I promise to myself that I would really try and stay in contact with my friends back home and looking back now this was a little naive that things would be the same I mean I’m not there for weeks at a time. I cant actually remember the last time I spoke to my best friend, other than the occasional message we’ve completely lost contact.
I love the friends I have made here at uni and know that we will remain in contact throughout the summer and into the following years but things aren’t the same back home and sometimes I don’t really want to go back and if it weren’t for my family I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t. It definatly feels like the end of my friendship with the girls and while I’m not upset I think when I look back it is a shame that we no longer talk.Perhaps that means we weren’t that close in the first place ?
Friendships are all part of growing up from the first ones at pre-school, the person you sit next to on the first day of school, college rooms mates and then your boy/girl friend who will be one of your best friends. I do miss my best friend but I have long since realised that it isn’t worth it and it is time to move on- after all friendships don’t always last…right?
Okay then that was a bit of a depressing read for the beginning of this blog but I want this to be honest and I think who you are friends with is a massive part of who you are so why not put my issues online. Once again I hope this was somewhat of an interesting read and perhaps a little bit of comfort if you are going through something similar as I know how lonely it can be.
I hope you all have a good week, please leave me a comment as I would love to know what you think of this post and if there is anything you want to read about.